Saturday i had a long day....apart from mising my bus to coast, then waiting for another one for two hours alone and then the bus breaking down....anyway it was long day. Though it was tiring, i didn't complain...i had time to reflect on the little things that had taken place in Nairobi.
One person who was on mind is a close friend, She is one of my dearest friends and the one girl who can even read my mind. On Saturday i was reflecting on her journey through life, it has not been easy for her i must say but she has managed to overcome. She shared a part of the journey that i was unable to travel with her, the part of the journey that she hated the most.
From her story i learnt one thing...there is a huge difference between pity and love, Obsession and love and above all Happiness is key to self love. She gave up part of her life not because she was in love but because along the way she felt pity for someone.
Though she kept that part of her journey from all who loved her, it still haunted her. One thing with pity is that you get tired, tired of pretending to love, tired of knowing you are not happy but you are afraid to walkaway. You can only pretend to smile for too long...so that's the part of the journey we took together.
The journey was not easy, she had to reflect on what she wanted, on who she wanted to be with and whose rules she would abide by. Am glad she realised her happiness comes first and that you do not need to be with someone to be happy and that in life's journey you have to abide by your rules.
Her journey was tough, hearts had to be broken but though she walked away with tears in her eyes she was smiling, and this time she was smiling from the heart. Though i feel bad that i never got to share this part of her journey with her, am glad i was standing on the next stop waiting for her to alight.
If you are reading this, just know am proud of you, am glad that you discovered the joy of smiling from the heart.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Mtwapa
Mtwapa....ask anyone who has visited the town before and they will smile...
I would describe Mtwapa as the Sodom and Gormorah of the mordern times...for those who do not know it,Mtwapa is a town in Kilifi, not far from Mombasa.
The town is famous for its pubs and most importantly call girls and the beach boys, its the only town in Kenya i know that you can walk half naked and noone will even question...and its the only town in Kenya that makes me feel over-dressed.
No other town in Kenya has so many biracial kids that speak fluent Swahili and broken English. Welcome to Mtwapa the town that never sleeps.
What irritates me most are the beach boys who do nothing all day they sit hoping they will get a white old lady to provide for them. As for the ladies, as long as you are a white male then count yourself lucky. Then there is a group of White men called "Kenya Kimbo" funny name.....they are called KK for they have been living in Kenya for so long that they have learned how to make a good bargain using the Swahili Language....
Mtwapa is the only town in Kenya that i would never want to raise a kid, am afraid that the only role models around are the beach boys and the call girls. As i walk through the streets of Mtwapa i feel as if am far from Kenya, because noone cares about Hiv AIDS here....its all about partying and girls and boys hoping they will nail a white man or woman with a fat cheque...
what happens in Mtwapa stays in Mtwapa.....
I would describe Mtwapa as the Sodom and Gormorah of the mordern times...for those who do not know it,Mtwapa is a town in Kilifi, not far from Mombasa.
The town is famous for its pubs and most importantly call girls and the beach boys, its the only town in Kenya i know that you can walk half naked and noone will even question...and its the only town in Kenya that makes me feel over-dressed.
No other town in Kenya has so many biracial kids that speak fluent Swahili and broken English. Welcome to Mtwapa the town that never sleeps.
What irritates me most are the beach boys who do nothing all day they sit hoping they will get a white old lady to provide for them. As for the ladies, as long as you are a white male then count yourself lucky. Then there is a group of White men called "Kenya Kimbo" funny name.....they are called KK for they have been living in Kenya for so long that they have learned how to make a good bargain using the Swahili Language....
Mtwapa is the only town in Kenya that i would never want to raise a kid, am afraid that the only role models around are the beach boys and the call girls. As i walk through the streets of Mtwapa i feel as if am far from Kenya, because noone cares about Hiv AIDS here....its all about partying and girls and boys hoping they will nail a white man or woman with a fat cheque...
what happens in Mtwapa stays in Mtwapa.....
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
What the Lord has done.....
Its been long since i wrote....its lunch break and i can jot a few lines....
Thanks to Bonny i have something to reflect on....
My cousin Loise is the strongest lady i know...she has been through so much yet she is still smiling, you can never tell when she is sad. Her dad passed away when we were still young....then tragedy hit her again...her mom passed away in November 2001 a month after Loise had given birth.....it was a sad period for her....but she overcame it. She had to take care of her baby and her little sister....Loise being Loise did an amazing job....
Just when life was going smoothly for her tragedy struck again....the father of her baby was arrested, the dust had not even settled when on July 9th 2004 her sister passed away due to heart failure, she was only 13yrs old...I was with Loise on that day, and i have never felt so helpless in my life. For the first time in my life i questioned God, wny her? so many tears...loosing all the people close to you....but God was with us all....he wiped the tears away.
Seeing Loise smile through it all has been a lesson for me....her strength i cannot describe....she is a miracle, and when i look at her and i see her radiant face, i know God is watching....Loise you are the strongest woman i know...Thank you for being you........
Thanks Bonny for reminding me that God is always with us.....
Thanks to Bonny i have something to reflect on....
My cousin Loise is the strongest lady i know...she has been through so much yet she is still smiling, you can never tell when she is sad. Her dad passed away when we were still young....then tragedy hit her again...her mom passed away in November 2001 a month after Loise had given birth.....it was a sad period for her....but she overcame it. She had to take care of her baby and her little sister....Loise being Loise did an amazing job....
Just when life was going smoothly for her tragedy struck again....the father of her baby was arrested, the dust had not even settled when on July 9th 2004 her sister passed away due to heart failure, she was only 13yrs old...I was with Loise on that day, and i have never felt so helpless in my life. For the first time in my life i questioned God, wny her? so many tears...loosing all the people close to you....but God was with us all....he wiped the tears away.
Seeing Loise smile through it all has been a lesson for me....her strength i cannot describe....she is a miracle, and when i look at her and i see her radiant face, i know God is watching....Loise you are the strongest woman i know...Thank you for being you........
Thanks Bonny for reminding me that God is always with us.....
Thursday, August 21, 2008
From the Heart.....
Today am feeling low, i don't feel like replying any mails, i don't feel like answering my phone. I just want to run away and just for a minute forget the hurt i feel inside.
With nowhere to run to or hide, i will just drift to my world of writing, maybe i will find some comfort. A month ago i thought i had it all, a good job, a good man and great family and friends, but today i feel as if am all alone. Honestly i never thought anyone would be capable of making me feel so low and sad, guess am human after all.
Today am learning a great lesson, that Love is sacrifice, that i have to sacrifice alot in order to be happy. That i should fight for love but i do not how to fight. When it comes to love i have always shielded my heart from the pain but today i can feel its breaking into pieces and i can do nothing about it.....
With nowhere to run to or hide, i will just drift to my world of writing, maybe i will find some comfort. A month ago i thought i had it all, a good job, a good man and great family and friends, but today i feel as if am all alone. Honestly i never thought anyone would be capable of making me feel so low and sad, guess am human after all.
Today am learning a great lesson, that Love is sacrifice, that i have to sacrifice alot in order to be happy. That i should fight for love but i do not how to fight. When it comes to love i have always shielded my heart from the pain but today i can feel its breaking into pieces and i can do nothing about it.....
Friday, August 8, 2008
Ghetto Story
Yesterday as I watched the news, I saw some youths protesting over the killing of a young man by the police. They all said he was not a thief but the police thought otherwise. As I watched the story, I remembered the late Zion, who was a friend, a neighbor back in Mathare slums.
Zion was a good friend, we grew up playing together and giving each other hope that we would succeed. He was a football player and he did love the game, he even traveled out of the country to represent in a youth tournament. I could not have been happier for him, he was living his dream.
After his trip things changed, he wanted to be rich no matter what, and he became the ladies man. His new lifestyle demanded money which he did not have, he turned to stealing. He was arrested, I remember going to see him in jail, and he was all teary. Asked him what had happened to the dream, he said poverty had changed him. That was a poor excuse. The gods were on his side for he was released after a few months.
Zion never changed, he became more experienced. Whenever we talked he reminded me to never give up the dream. Luck was not on Zion’s side, he was gunned down. He was wearing an Arsenal (his favorite team) t-shirt and blue jeans. There was a pregnant girl crying, she was one of Zion’s girlfriends.
Youths were protesting that an innocent young man had been killed, but I knew better. They all knew the truth but they wanted someone to blame, I blamed society and I blamed Zion for giving up on his dream.
I walked from the scene, because I saw a dream die that day.
Zion, am still pursing my dream……
Zion was a good friend, we grew up playing together and giving each other hope that we would succeed. He was a football player and he did love the game, he even traveled out of the country to represent in a youth tournament. I could not have been happier for him, he was living his dream.
After his trip things changed, he wanted to be rich no matter what, and he became the ladies man. His new lifestyle demanded money which he did not have, he turned to stealing. He was arrested, I remember going to see him in jail, and he was all teary. Asked him what had happened to the dream, he said poverty had changed him. That was a poor excuse. The gods were on his side for he was released after a few months.
Zion never changed, he became more experienced. Whenever we talked he reminded me to never give up the dream. Luck was not on Zion’s side, he was gunned down. He was wearing an Arsenal (his favorite team) t-shirt and blue jeans. There was a pregnant girl crying, she was one of Zion’s girlfriends.
Youths were protesting that an innocent young man had been killed, but I knew better. They all knew the truth but they wanted someone to blame, I blamed society and I blamed Zion for giving up on his dream.
I walked from the scene, because I saw a dream die that day.
Zion, am still pursing my dream……
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
When Did i Grow up?
Did i grow up the day the Biology teacher taught me about my body?
Did i grow up the day i could not stare at a boy for one second?
Or did i grow up the day i got my first love letter from a stranger?
Or was is when the red robot struck?
Did i grow up the day Mama gave me a lecture on boys?
Or was is it when my body yearned to be touched?
Did i grow up the day my heart was in love?
Or did i grow up when my heart was broken?
Did i grow up when i learnt to say No to my heart's desires?
Or was is it when i could not let go off a bad relationship?
Did i grow up when i lost a loved one and i had to deal with the pain?
Or was is it when i said goodbye with tears flowing freely?
Will i grow up when i have a ring on my finger?
Or when i have to care for someone else other than me?
Guess i grow up everyday.......
Did i grow up the day i could not stare at a boy for one second?
Or did i grow up the day i got my first love letter from a stranger?
Or was is when the red robot struck?
Did i grow up the day Mama gave me a lecture on boys?
Or was is it when my body yearned to be touched?
Did i grow up the day my heart was in love?
Or did i grow up when my heart was broken?
Did i grow up when i learnt to say No to my heart's desires?
Or was is it when i could not let go off a bad relationship?
Did i grow up when i lost a loved one and i had to deal with the pain?
Or was is it when i said goodbye with tears flowing freely?
Will i grow up when i have a ring on my finger?
Or when i have to care for someone else other than me?
Guess i grow up everyday.......
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Rose That Grew From Concrete
This poem is about Tupac and how he raised from a dirty situation to shine. Its my favorite poem....
The Rose That Grew From Concrete
Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack
in the concrete
Proving nature's law wrong it learned 2 walk
without having feetFunny it seems but by keeping its dreams
it learned 2 breathe fresh air
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared!
- Tupac Shakur
Tupac wrote from the heart...this other poem shows the other side of him...he had emotions too
I Cry
Sometimes when I'm alone
I Cry,
Cause I am on my own.
The tears I cry are bitter and warm.
They flow with life but take no form
I Cry because my heart is torn.
I find it difficult to carry on.
If I had an ear to confiding,
I would cry among my treasured friend,
but who do you know that stops that long,
to help another carry on.
The world moves fast and it would rather pass by.
Then to stop and see what makes one cry,
so painful and sad.
And sometimes...
I Cry
and no one cares about why.
Tupac Shakur
The Rose That Grew From Concrete
Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack
in the concrete
Proving nature's law wrong it learned 2 walk
without having feetFunny it seems but by keeping its dreams
it learned 2 breathe fresh air
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared!
- Tupac Shakur
Tupac wrote from the heart...this other poem shows the other side of him...he had emotions too
I Cry
Sometimes when I'm alone
I Cry,
Cause I am on my own.
The tears I cry are bitter and warm.
They flow with life but take no form
I Cry because my heart is torn.
I find it difficult to carry on.
If I had an ear to confiding,
I would cry among my treasured friend,
but who do you know that stops that long,
to help another carry on.
The world moves fast and it would rather pass by.
Then to stop and see what makes one cry,
so painful and sad.
And sometimes...
I Cry
and no one cares about why.
Tupac Shakur
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